Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Why we don't heal (and what we can do about it)

I have been a clinician of some sort or another now for over ten years. In that time, I have seen miraculous recoveries- the sort that make someone happy to be witness, happy to be alive, and thankful to play some small role in. People suffering with severe mental imbalances such as Depression, Disassociation, and Trauma being able to function. People with Stage IV cancers go into complete remission. The person who goes into hospice care with their friends and family preparing for their death only for them to return to their lives. These are the moments to hold onto as a practitioner, the moments that keep you going.

For most healing is of the moderate success variety. Even as a practitioner who has seen miraculous things, and generally works with the people who doctors, health care practitioners, and assorted healing types, shaman, psychics, etc. have damaged or cast aside, I can boast of seeing people get better who have been told multiple times that they just have to deal with their symptoms. Anyone who has suffered with the relentless difficulty that is Depression knows that even a moderately better ability to function in this world is a hard feat, and one that is difficult to gain.

And most people fall into the category of moderate to decent success. This is actually a good category, and one that is lovely to witness. The patient is able to take a few steps forward on their path- increase their functioning, decrease pain, increase embodiment, become more spiritually connected and emotionally balanced. They are ready to move on from whatever difficulty they came in with to the rest of their lives.

But what of those who do not heal? Any practitioner who has been around for a while has these patients, no matter how good their success rates are. As a practitioner who has studied many different modalities and is rather obsessive with constantly learning, the vast majority of my patients are in the first two categories. But there are a few who come my way who stop treatment before something is solved/healed, who nothing works for, who come in the same way they leave. What is the reasoning for this?

Partially the reasoning is me. I am either not the right practitioner, or do not have the knowledge to help someone heal. I am okay with this. This is what referrals are for, quite frankly. Anyone who knows me knows that although I studied nutrition, it is certainly not my forte, and since quite a few illnesses are nutrition based, it is understandable that I need to refer for that.

The other reasons will likely surprise people, because they have to do with you- the patient. Sometimes a problem needs surgical intervention, or something drastic done medically, and that is why they don't heal. Often the reason is that we live in a culture where we expect to not do any work- we go in to get serviced like a car, or go to the doctor to get a pill. We do not have to do anything but show up. Holistic medicines do not work like that. They need an active participant.

The other big reason is that the reason for the patient's illness is emotionally based or would require some sort of action on their part that they are not ready to take. A truth they can't yet handle. I have had women and men come to me realizing that their illness comes from a toxic relationship, or from how they interact with family, or living a life in which they are only just surviving. This often manifests (which may surprise some) as physical blockage. To release the stomach pain, or whatever is coming up, would require releasing a relationship, or to move a step forward in life or make a decision that it would be easier not to.

The biggest reason that people do not heal is because they are not ready to, or do not expect to, or they get something out of the disease or imbalance. People get really wrapped up in their stories- I have migraines, I have x,y, or z. This is not intended to sound insensitive. I get pain, I get suffering, believe me.... I have experienced levels of ill health and imbalances I would not wish on anyone. The biggest way I healed was to let go of being the person who gets migraines, the person who suffers. Imagining a life where you do not have to be a suffering person, an ill person, is often too much for someone to handle.

It sounds strange to write about someone getting something out of their disease or imbalance. But these issues are showing up to call your attention to them. I have spent a decade listening to what people's bodies have to say to them, and many times it is an issue that either has been sectioned off because it was too painful to heal or deal with appropriately at the time, or it is the fact that the disease serves a function. Immune issues giving someone time to rest, PMS allowing someone to vent emotions, throat and tongue issues so that someone cannot or did not speak up.

The biggest leaps in healing I have seen from people who are willing to let go of their stories- of what they tell themselves about their health. I am entirely pragmatic about this- someone who has severed their spinal cord, or who has Stage IV cancer, or who has schizophrenia will not completely heal from letting go of identifying themselves as that issue. But often people place restrictions on themselves with both serious and not-so-serious issues that create blocks to them healing.

A note to end here: Since I have talked about the origins of disease, and why people do not heal, I often get some flak from people who disagree based on the fact that these disorders/issues are so physically based. And this is true. There is no denial of that. Instead, what I am suggesting (again) is that we are multi-layered, multi-level beings. We are physical, we are mental, emotional, spiritual beings. All of these levels need to be taken care of in order to heal. This blog was not to cast blame on the patient. Many imbalances are complicated, and require a healer (or many healers), doctors, and all sorts of care to get well. I just have realized from years of practice that if patients are active and participate in their process, if they are open to releasing their thoughts and identity, and are ready to move on in whatever way their inner guidance is telling them to in their lives, that miraculous things can happen. I hope for miracles for all of you.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Letting go of External Spiritual Seeking

One of the greatest transitions on the spiritual path or during a spiritual awakening of any sort is from an external path to an internal one. It is a true test to reach this point, and a true initiation to pass it.

We live in a world where everything, including spiritual experiences, need to be explained logically to be assimilated in the mental realms/thought processes. A world where we want an explanation for everything, and a world in which there should be a one-to-one correlation for everything.

This is an external world, a world of constantly seeking validation and perpetual seeking- asking friends, books, teachers what spiritual experiences mean. Most people remain in this perpetual seeker mode, needing others to validate and describe their experiences for them.

I wish to wake you up to the fact that you will never understand everything that goes on around you. Never. It simply will not happen. The easiest thing to do is to simply accept your spiritual experiences, let go of control, and try to stop shoving them into logical patterns and constructs. I promise life will move much more smoothly if you do this.

Similarly, the move from external validation to internal realization is a huge step forward, and marks an important initiation into the world of spirit. This move means that you have gone from looking outside of yourself for validation and knowledge, and discover the resources that you have within. This is not to say that you should not have physical teachers, read books, or chat with friends. Many people share similar experiences on this journey, and similar archetypes (like power animals, angels, energies, etc) come through often for a reason.

But how you can come to a place of being "found" rather than being a perpetual seeker is through relying on yourself, your own power, your own understandings, your own relationship with spirit (God, Goddess, etc) to understand what is going on with you. This is an important shift, because with this shift comes a certain calm, a certain understand, and a feeling of empowerment that will propel you to higher levels of understanding.

The biggest difficulty with this path is that many want to have one-to-one correlations for everything. If they see a blue light, they will google and see that it is a specific Angel, if they smell roses they will ask friends who say it is Mother Mary. The problem with this is that this experience may be true for 50 percent of people. It will be true enough that it is a consensus of many. But what about that other 50 percent? The people who may be seeing a light and it is a different spirit, physical eye issues, or something else entirely? The person who smells roses may be smelling a spirit of a grandmother. By then externally seeking, the person then convinces themselves that they have been visited by Mother Mary. By internally seeking, and internally asking, the person has a chance of figuring out why that smell is presenting to them.

We all have individual experiences. By externally seeking we find out the path of others. This may be similar to ours, or provide comfort to us. By relying on the self, and your internal support network, you will find confidence, power, and an understanding of what your individual spiritual experiences mean.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Treatment of Kundalini Syndrome with CranioSacral Therapy

In previous blogs I have discussed why Kundalini symptoms and syndrome begin, what the symptoms are, and a bit about what you can do about them. You can find those blogs here and here. As discussed in prior blogs, a true Kundalini Awakening can be devastating to the person undergoing it and frequently leads to severe illness due to the intensity of the process.

One of my favorite ways to work with someone undergoing a Kundalini awakening in-person is with CranioSacral Therapy. CranioSacral Therapy is a modality derived from Osteopathic Medicine by John Upledger and other pioneers. It is a gentle, whole body approach with a focus on the fluid systems, inherent rhythms and tides of the body, energetic systems of the body, the fascia and tissues that wrap around the brain and spinal cord, as well as the bones and ligaments that make up the tailbone, spine, neck, and head.

Since Kundalini is focused in the Sushumna, or central channel (it runs through the brain and spinal cord) of the body, it is well met by CranioSacral Therapy both in focus and with the gentle approach of the therapy. 

The biggest issue by far that those undergoing Kundalini awakenings face is blockage in their central channel, associated channels (Ida and Pingala that run along the spine) as well as the chakra system. Kundalini begins in the first chakra and behind the point of the tailbone (if you are experiencing an awakening from the crown down it is a Top-Down awakening and not Kundalini) and starts an ascent up the spine. The first three chakras are about you, your survival instincts, your early childhood, your family, and your ancestry. As you can imagine, this is fertile material for many, and these chakras when blasted open by Kundalini cause every issue that has been locked in the respective chakra or area of the body to come up for processing. All at the same time.

This can obviously have pretty severe effects. Kundalini will ascend as far as it can like a thermometer until it meets blockage. Then it will stop and either go back down or will stay with the blockage, blasting it open like a dormant volcano suddenly erupting. This causes physical symptoms in the area (for example burning, low back pain, UTI's and urogenital issues in the first chakra if it is blocked and cannot ascend any further or nausea, vomiting, inability to take in foods, and rib pain for the third chakra) as well as emotional issues associated with that chakra (fear and survival instincts for first chakra as well as sometimes anger, issues with self-worth, grief, sadness for third chakra). These issues are even more difficult because they are often severe, sometimes life-threatening, and often cannot be explained or treated by Allopathic Medicine (please go see a doctor though to rule anything out though).

So we come back to the idea of blockage. Once Kundalini fire is able to rise up without meeting resistance the huge physical and emotional symptoms settle down. Eventually Kundalini will rise and fall in waves, more gently and sometimes more significantly moving through stored material it did not get the first time (or the first eighty times). The less blockage you have the less intense symptoms (usually, until you get to the bottom of the barrel and the top-down energy and Kundalini energy meet and start cycling, then you will usually go through significant issues again for a while until the whole circuit is cycling. But after that, the heat/burning, pain, and energetic dancing of fingers, hands, and whole body settles down nicely).

CranioSacral Therapy works specifically with blockages in the spine and it can treat many Kundalini blockages through facilitated segment work. A facilitated segment is basically an area of the spine that is having either too much activity or too little. It has separated from functioning with the rest of the spine as a happy, healthy whole spine. These spinal segments innervate tissues, organs, and whole other tracts of the body so having one that is unhappy will create havoc in the whole localized area as well as create issues for the entire body.  CranioSacral Practitioners can correct this, and can help to process the material that is coming up in a Kundalini awakening in a safe and gentle manner through gentle work with correcting these facilitated segments, and helping the surrounding organs, fascia, and other structures come to a state of balance, and allowing the whole length of the spine and nervous system begin proper communication.

There are many other reasons that CranioSacral Therapy works well for Kundalini Syndrome. Kundalini causes overwhelm and overload causing the body to be in a constant alert state. One of the greatest benefits of CranioSacral Therapy is that it reboots the system like a computer, allowing your body to go from "fight or flight" on/alert state to an "rest and digest" off state.  CranioSacral Therapy also evaluates the meridians, chakras, and other energy systems of the body and works individually with your unique imbalances to bring you to a greater state of balance. It is also gentle enough and comes from a "witness state" meaning that it is not creating any new material or issues for your body to process, it is simply finding avenues for your body to release the intense amount of heat, overwhelm, and emotional/physical issues that are arising for you.

There is also SomatoEmotional Release which is enormously helpful for Kundalini Awakenings. Your practitioner can guide you to actually talk to your body, to your Spirit, to your fear and anger, and even to your Kundalini to find out what it wants and the best way that it can individually rise and fall. Through making this individual connection to your Kundalini fire, you can start a positive relationship instead of a relationship of overwhelm, fear, and general dysfunction. SomatoEmotional Release also allows for movement, so often people undergoing Kundalini awakenings will do their kriyas and mudras (automatic hand and body movements) on the table or floor of the treatment room and can create a lot of energetic flow and release by doing so.

The last way that CranioSacral Therapy is ideal for Kundalini Awakenings is because it directly taps into the spirit, the spiritual forces that make up your unique blueprint, and can bring you to an intensely deep, quiet, and spiritual place that will allow you insight into your true self. Since most Kundalini-ites are constantly in a place of overwhelm, they rarely get that quiet meditative focus that they need to both process the enormous energies that are circulating as well as look behind the scenes at why this process began for them and what their unique and individual spiritual path is. This insight into your process which is created by the quiet attention and space that your CranioSacral Therapy practitioner provides you with is a powerful way to gain insight into the workings of your Kundalini Awakening.

Have any Questions? Want to Ask Me about CranioSacral Therapy and Kundalini? If your CranioSacral Therapist does not know about Kundalini, they can feel free to contact me as well at www.lotusbodywork.com

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Erasing the Imprints of Healing Sessions gone wrong

More and more lately I have found myself in the position of "fixing" other practitioners work, so I thought that I would write a blog post on the subject. I realize that this is more of a rant, but a thought-provoking rant I hope. I am an Acupuncturist, CranioSacral Therapist, Energy Worker, and Shamanic/Spiritual Healer. All of these fields have extraordinary practitioners in them. But these fields also have many practitioners that either do nothing or can cause harm to their patients, often without the practitioner realizing the ramifications of what they are doing.

As an Acupuncturist, this can be physically dangerous, as Chiropractors, Naturopaths, Medical Doctors, and even Physical Therapists have begun needling. Improper technique with an acupuncture needle can lead to pneumothorax (essentially what happens when you put something pointy into the Lungs and they deflate like a balloon), bruising, or pain on insertion of the needle. Licensed Acupuncturists can cause these effects as well, but it is much rarer due to the amount of training they have. In fact, mostly if you go to an ineffective Acupuncturist what typically happens is the patient thinks that Acupuncture doesn't work because they got no results and is not willing to spend money or time on it again. It is hard to convince them that Acupuncture with an experienced practitioner might actually get them results at this point, or that Acupuncture can happen without pain, etc.

CranioSacral Therapy is something that can also prove to be ineffective in the wrong hands. It is rarely dangerous physically, although I have worked with several patients who have had improper cranial base techniques done resulting in headaches and other body pain. The issue with CranioSacral Therapy is that often they are weekend classes and after the first course, many practitioners hang a shingle or put on their business card that they are CranioSacral Therapists. It also is not regulated well, so in some states practitioners who do not have any previous health care training become practitioners. This is not an issue for many clients with garden variety type pain, stress, and overwhelm that comes from daily life. In fact, these beginning practitioners can be just what these patients need.

But I have worked with more than a dozen clients who have worked with CranioSacral Therapists who are beginners treating everything from severe trauma and disassociation to cancer. While no physical trauma occurred as a result of these treatments, the results of "nothing happening" to having extreme emotional duress, physical pain, or other issues during or after a session that the practitioner is not experienced enough to handle have occurred. Many people have come to me with improperly released trauma and emotional issues due to practitioners being unskilled or unable to properly help the patient release.

The most difficult clients that I have to deal with are those who have been to a Shamanic Healer and/or Energy Worker who has caused them serious harm. These are not easy fixes. I believe (and many others do as well) that there are certain people who are called to being a Shaman or an Energy Worker. They have natural talent, and this combined with physical teachings, non-physical teachings, and a considerable spiritual practice can create an extremely effective practitioner. But like a session I had today (which was the catalyst for this rant/blog post) this field especially attracts people who take a workshop, or read books, and start working on patients with complex spiritual and energetic issues. This can create harm to the patient, to the family/friends of the patient, and to the practitioner who is working in areas they shouldn't be. In rare cases, this has caused the death of a practitioner who found themselves in a situation that they were not able to handle.

Take my session today with a client. She had been to two other "Shamans" who had done soul retrieval work for her. After the sessions, she completely disassociated, spent time in a psychiatric hospital after attempting suicide, and was basically non-functional for a period of two years. Before this time, she had struggled with some minor depression and early childhood trauma. Going over the tracks of the other practitioners, I saw that one of them had brought back energy that was not hers, and this energy was very dark, heavy, and filled with despair. By doing so, there was no longer any room for what was actually "her" so she energetically left her body. She had spent the last two years going to psychiatrists, taking medication, and basically being non-functional before something finally clicked in her that this began with soul retrieval work she had received. In the session with her, I not only had to undo the other practitioners work and imprint, release the energy that was not hers, but then coax and calm her fractured, disassociated self back into her body, as well as do healing work surrounding her experiences over the last few years.

This story is not a unique one. Every week I receive emails and phone calls from people all over the world who have been to spiritual healers that have done more harm than good. What is lucky about the situation is that most work is reversible. Many practitioners who call themselves Energy Workers and Spiritual/Shamanic Healers simply fall into the category of the Acupuncturist Medical Doctor hobbyist and do not do much harm or good. But some have learned techniques and skills that can cause harm. And often these practitioners do not understand the serious nature of the forces that they are dealing with and take patients with serious issues before they are ready to.

So what is the point of this blog? Is it for me to applaud myself on how I can fix rather complex situations, or how I am an effective practitioner, or about my session today? Is it to judge these other practitioners? No, not really. My point here is simple. These healing modalities are extremely profound with the right practitioner. Life changing in fact. With the "wrong" practitioner, the results are either nothing or worse- emotional, physical, or spiritual trauma that can be difficult to fix. If you go to a practitioner, ask what sort of training they have, how long they have been in business, and if they have worked with someone like you. Realize that if you go to a spiritual practitioner that effects can be profound and this is uniquely dangerous because it is rare that someone is able to link the work they had done to their life, mental/emotional/physical health, or destiny completely going off track. It is also difficult to to find a practitioner who can work with repairing the work of other practitioners.

So be careful... realize that spiritual matters, emotional issues, and physical issues can be healed or worsened in profound ways by any of these modalities. Realize that reactions to these healing modalities can affect your entire life in ways you wouldn't necessarily expect. Ask questions, trust your gut instincts about a practitioner, and most of all, realize that finding a practitioner that is experienced, naturally talented/skilled, honest, and is a good match for your personality can be a life-changing thing.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Treating Fibromyalgia with CranioSacral Therapy


From Medical News Today


Karen (name changed) was a 42 year old woman who complained of pain, fatigue, and emotional stress that had persisted for the last 13 years. Formerly an active woman who had headed her children's school organizations and described herself as Type A personality- always on the go, looking for a better solution, very self critical and a perfectionist, with a career as a marketing coordinator and three children, Karen found herself at a point where she was no longer able to keep up with her lifestyle.

Fifteen years ago, Karen's life had changed. Her husband asked for a divorce and she had accepted a promotion at work that made her lifestyle even busier than it was. Suddenly a single mom Karen found herself exhausted on the weekends her husband had visitation, barely leaving her couch until her children came back on Sunday evenings. Over the course of the next few years her sleep gradually deteriorated, she started not waking feeling rested no matter how much sleep she got, and her fatigue and muscle pain gradually increased to the point that she had to go part-time at work. Going to a slew of doctors, Karen found herself with a full medicine cabinet of pharmaceuticals that didn't help her symptoms- antidepressants, sleep medications, muscle relaxants, nerve blockers. She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and when she complained that her symptoms were not improving with the medication, she was sent to a therapist. Luckily, the therapist suggested CranioSacral Therapy (CST), and Karen found herself in my office thirteen years after her symptoms first began.

When I spoke to Karen and evaluated her in my office, I noticed that she had extremely dark circles under her eyes and she spoke quietly. She went into my office, lying down onto my massage table clothed. When I placed my hands on her to evaluate, using gentle touch, I could sense that her system was very "on"- meaning that "fight or flight"- her sympathetic nervous system, was constantly firing and in a state where her body was constantly in a state of alarm and vigilance. Basically, it was as if her body had not known rest for a very long time. Evaluating further through gentle touch and traction of the superficial tissues of the body, I was brought to notice that Karen had significant digestive upset, her low back was very tight, and her upper neck, shoulders, and the back of her head felt extremely tense.

Karen and I worked together for two months, once a week, and during that time our sessions followed what many of my treatments look like for Fibromyalgia patients. First, we worked to get her nervous system to calm down and get her body to a state of rest. This state of rest allowed for her body to continue working after the appointment to process some of the pain signals and other body signals that had been backed up, allowing her pain to gradually decrease, her sleep to improve, and her digestion to start properly working again. Then we worked gently with Imagery and Dialogue, where we talked to her body and allowed for her to see what it needed to heal and what emotions it had stored. Then gently I worked with the specific parts of the body that I noticed that were out of balance through gentle traction, decompression, and simply by bringing my hands and attention gently to a body part. Gradually her body recognized that her low back, upper back and neck, and the back of the head needed releasing and started softening, lengthening, and opening without me using any force and at the rate Karen could handle releasing the tissues. And finally, I taught her some simple meditations to do at home to release her physical body, process her emotions, and calm her thoughts.

Karen still comes to see me every other week to assist with her ongoing healing, but she is now able to work full time and takes a pain killer only when she absolutely needs to (on average about once every six months). Her sleep has improved, her digestion has normalized, and she is able to relax and rest. She is off all other medications and during a flare-up she only has very mild back pain and a mild headache.

So why does CranioSacral work so well for Fibromyalgia? It is a extremely gentle practice focused on awareness. During a session I will either simply place my hands on various places in the body or will use gentle massage, traction, gentle adjustments, and very light pressure to work with the tissues, fluids, bones, and organs of the body. CranioSacral Therapy doesn't force anything, which is key for Fibromyalgia patients, and works with the body, the way it wants to move and at the level and depth it wants to be touched. CST also benefits by getting the patient into a parasympathetic, "rest and digest" state of deep stillness, rest, and relaxation. When you body is no longer constantly "on" it can then begin to process all of the signals that are backed up in your body- signals like pain, fatigue, and overwhelm. By processing these signals and switching to an "off" state, the body will be in less pain, will be able to relax, and sleep can improve.

Where does Imagery and Dialogue fit in? When emotions are not processed, they stay in the body, eventually presenting as physical pain, discomfort, or can contribute to a whole host of imbalances in the body. Every illness has an emotional component, especially illnesses that are difficult to treat through Western Medicine, are serious, long-lasting or have the patient questioning their mortality. Potentially any imbalance or illness, no matter how long or serious it is, can be worked with through Imagery and Dialogue. In a session, areas of the body that are in discomfort are felt into by the patient. As the patient brings focus and attention to the part of the body, they will begin describing it, both how it feels physically, any images that come up about it, and any emotions that come up. We then can begin asking the body questions, such as if it needs anything, what it would need to feel better, or if it has anything to bring to the attention of the person on the table. Frequently, the body has a lot to say and quite a bit to talk about! When we dialogue and understand what the body may need or want, and what physical issues and emotions may be stored there, the body now has a change to release the emotional component, and thereby, some of the physical component of the issue. It is shocking how often this is the missing piece of healing for patients, and how simple the body's needs and wants are.

I would encourage anyone with Fibromyalgia to give three or more sessions of CranioSacral Therapy a try. This will give you enough time to connect with your therapist, find out if the modality is right for you, and should allow you to start seeing some changes in your condition. So many times I have worked with Fibro patients who have started to get their lives gradually back and come alive again through CST treatments. Feel free to contact me with any questions, or google practitioners in your area who have Advanced training and experience with Fibromyalgia through the Upledger Institute, or have completed the Biodynamic CranioSacral or Visionary CranioSacral 1-2 year programs.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Are you Alive?

What does it mean to really and truly live?

For many of us, we never really truly live our lives. And then comes illness, depression, and the sudden sharp realization that we have spent our time here on earth not living, but simply surviving. Our life has been awash with television shows we can no longer remember, food, sex, and drugs that are not ultimately satisfying. But it is too difficult to change, isn't it?

The answer to this is not simple. It is yes, and no. For we are creatures of habit, we are thinkers. Many of us are not doers. So we make lists and think about how on Monday, or next week, or next month we are going to change our diets, we are going to start exercising, we are going to change the way we look and feel about ourselves.

And then Monday comes. Maybe we have a bad day at work, we don't feel well, something good is on tv, we simply don't feel like cooking. So we push off our plans for another week. Or Monday comes, and we begin our new diet or some drastic change and it is simply just too hard. So we stop.

So what happens? When we finally make that change, we find that it is simply easier to not do so. Unless we have some sort of death-defying reason to make a change, we would prefer to slide back into the known, the vague stuckness of our existence. And when we try to make that change, the rest of our world, our body, initially resists that change. It is hard, quite simply. We don't like hard. We like comfortable couches, food we don't have to cook. We are too tired to change our existence, it is never the right time to. Next Monday, maybe we will try again.

So what is the answer to this? Ultimately there are no easy answers (I wish there were). The first thing to realize is that when you change, it takes your world a little while longer to realize you have made a change. Our lives are made of intricate patterns- from our history, our family history, and society. When you make any sort of change, it is going to be uncomfortable until you break away from the old patterns and create new ones.

It takes your body even longer to realize and let go of some of your old patterns. Letting go of old patterns is uncomfortable physically, at least initially. It is difficult, especially if they are patterns that are not your own (from society or your family). You can speed up this process by verbally letting your body know each day what you are doing, so your body/mind has a chance to realize what is going on more quickly. You can also realize and come into awareness about what the pattern is, and if you are able, where the pattern comes from.

The other thing you can do is to look at your life from a different angle, from a broader view. Instead of looking at it as being Monday, look at your life as if you were writing a 5-10 page short story, or doing a short film about it. Would it be interesting? Would you/your character come to life on the page? Are you truly living?

The answer to this for most people is a resounding NO. We are not living, we are not alive. We may have moments of spark, thoughts of coming out of our stasis, but generally life is too comfortable to change, and change is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and change are the unknown. The unknown creates fear. The known may suck, but at least we know what is coming for us. 

When you look at your life from a broader sense, what would you want your character to do? Do not be hard on yourself. What is the script you would write for her? Would she move to Tahiti and become a dance instructor? If this is the answer, break that down into simpler, more feasible goals. Could you go to the beach? Could you take a dance class or some sort of movement class? Now make an agreement to do so. Don't create a strict schedule. Maybe dance every Friday. You can dance in your bedroom or go to a class. For one minute or two hours. When you start realizing that you can change, that your body, your world will come to a new sense of organization, and you start getting that spark of life, that spark will continue to ignite, and you can fully become alive.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

On Becoming a Shaman in the Modern World Part 2

In Part 1, I discussed how shamanism has been commoditized in the modern world, and brought into the mainstream new-age for better or worse. To summarize, there are many issues with the mainstream, new-age "shaman", from purely financial (only upper-middle class white people seem to be able to afford the workshops), to issues with information dispensed (the shamanism being presented is often not shamanism at all, but a conglomeration of spiritual, new-age thoughts combined with modern pop-psychology), to issues with naming (the term shaman comes from a specific tribe originating in Siberia and thus arguably should remain with them), to the simple fact that many people who are interested in shamanism have not had any sort of calling to be a shaman, and do not know the sort of initiations, illnesses, and path a shaman must follow. In the end, I agree that some of the practitioners of modern shamanism are helpful, as are many counselors or other allied health professionals. But the degree of difference between someone called and shoved onto this path vs. someone wanting to take a self-help workshop are many.

So how is a Shaman called? 
Well, many believe that a shamanic calling has to do with heritage/ancestry (someone in your family lineage was a shaman or had spiritual gifts) and some believe that it has to do with agreements made prior to birth. Often, there is an thought regarding needs for the planet- meaning that a certain number of people who are able to communicate with spirit are needed on earth at a certain period in time.

How does this Shamanic calling manifest?
In some cultures, midwives can tell in utero if a child will be a shaman based on the amount of energy or souls that accompany the child. When a shaman is born, they are often remarkably different right away from others in their tribe/community. There is a look in their eyes, a sensitivity to the world, that manifests from their first breath. It is said that when someone who is not a shaman is born, they are born into a sort of amnesia- where they forget the other worlds, dimensions, and energies that surround us. A shaman does not have that amnesia, and has a great deal of early childhood pain over the fact that they can see and hear things that others cannot.


Often the child shaman is unable to process the amount of information and pain that is coming to them from their calling, and they succumb to severe illness and/or death. A severe childhood illness and/or death is almost always a marker of a shaman, so much so that certain tribes would starve or put a child out who they thought was a shaman so they would have a near-death experience or severe illness. In modern society, most modern shamans I have met have had a traumatic childhood, severe illness, or near-death experience. Since we live in a society where shamans are not nurtured or taught when their abilities are discovered, many who have the calling to become a shaman have several near-death experiences (or actually die) until they are able to find their path.

What are the other markers of the Shamanic calling?In the previous blog (Part 1) I discussed how many modern spiritual enthusiasts go to shamanic gatherings to find their "tribe" and how funny that this was to me. This is because traditionally, the shaman was shunned and lived on the edge of society. People generally fear, mistrust, and do not understand the shaman because they are too different. This all would change if they needed something from the shaman, like a healing. Often, since the shaman is partially wild and not entirely of this plane, they prefer solitude anyway, although often because of their abilities, they don't have much choice in the matter.

Shamans always are between worlds, have the ability to look and see deeper patterns in life. This can separate the shaman from others, who do not see the patterns. Most of all, a part of them is animalistic and primal. There is a wildness to them due to their abilities and their nature, which isn't totally human. They have no choice but to remain like this- it is simply who they are: born into a human body but animalistic and part of the forces of nature. Shamans are called and must be a part of nature to survive. It is a part of their calling to commune with nature- they are nature, and they will become ill if they do not spend the appropriate amount of time learning from nature.

Above all, being a shaman is simply dangerous. Most people in self-help workshops and beginning spiritual pursuits do not understand that what they are coming across is self-created, meaning it is part of the illusion that you set up for yourself. Angels, animals, teachers, plants all come across to tell you exactly what you want to know (I could tell a funny story about how I asked a tree the other day for it to teach me, and it said no, and how I briefly felt offended, but that is for another day). Real spirits, forces of nature, and energies are dangerous, and must be treated with respect and careful understanding. Shamans negotiate with the spiritual realms to turn disease, misfortune, and evil in the lives of people and the land around. The same people who shunned the shaman in the market one day will bring their child to the shaman the next day for healing. They are constantly aware of the precarious balance of the universe, and their community, and most of all, they are like a big nightlight for spirits and energies to come after because the shaman can notice them.

Overall, a shaman will know that they have a calling because they simply do not have a choice in their lives about what to do with their path. If you are called to be a shaman, you cannot become an accountant. If you do not follow your calling, pain and suffering will follow. And when you do follow the path of your calling, you realize that you are a tool of the divine, a hollow bone, and your life becomes a series of initiations and clearings of your history/past, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies until you reach a place where you can actually be of service, and utilized properly.

On Becoming a Shaman in the Modern World Part 1

It is interesting, our modern world. Our post-post-modern, new-age society that has elevated the role of shaman into a self-help empire, a world in which you can go through workshops at often idyllic resorts and retreats to get a certificate that says that you are a "shaman" and thus can heal people using your shamanic capabilities.

On the surface level, there is much to complain about this set-up. Some argue that shamans are from a specific culture and time, and nobody except for those who are from that specific culture should be able to use the term shaman. And this is true in many ways... the term "shaman" seemingly comes from the Tungus people of Northeast China/Siberian regions. From other cultures, the duties ascribed to the catch-all "shaman" term may be medicine woman, spiritual healer, curandera, or a whole variety of other labels. But although technically the term shaman originated (seemingly) from the 1500's in Siberia, the word shaman has come into a new life as a catch-all for the described communication that some are able to do between the world of spirit and the material world.

So let's forget the anger over the genesis of the word shaman for a moment. As an aside, I generally call myself a spiritual healer- it seems much more valid for the sort of work I do, and then I don't have to have the debate that has been happening over decades about the paragraph before this one, but I have found that I also have to use the words shamanic healer because that is simply what has been created by the new-age google searching types to be able to find me. And on most days I am okay with that.

Arguably, the biggest issue in terms of shamanism right now is "real" vs. "plastic". For some, this means issues of nationality/race/family lineage. For others this means those who have had a "true" calling vs. those who have simply gone and done a weekend workshop and hung a shingle on their door. And for others, the term plastic has to do with the merchandising of shamanism combined with other new-age thoughts and modern psychological methods and packaged by the likes of Michael Harner, Alberto Villoldo, and others to anyone who might have curiousity about becoming a shaman and money to pay, but not necessarily a calling to become a shaman.

Although the modern shamanic format of overpriced courses and non-native teachers with dubious motives and pedigree business advisors certainly has its issues, the question remains of what do modern (likely white) people do who feel a calling to learn about shamanism? Even if they are called to the work, the first books and classes they are going to run across are likely to be the new-age hybrids of Villoldo and Harner. And this actually isn't a bad thing, because in Part 2 of this blog post, I will discuss what actually happens to those who have a calling to become a shaman. The watered down, pleasant versions that the new-agers offer is seemingly just enough information and initiation and self-help to satiate the weekend workshop warrior without them being in any physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional danger. For many who I have attended these workshops with, the provided initiations are enough for them to feel "spiritual" and "special" and they are able to help those similar to them with their learned material without any real understanding of how truly frightening being a shaman can be. But many have gone into their communities and helped, even without having a true calling or understanding of spiritual matters.

So, generally, when people come down on these workshops and practitioners, I can truly understand where they are coming from. It is shamanism-lite, spiritual work typically without the illness and pain and suffering and devastation and separation that comes from a true shamanic calling. But on the same level, they are helping others on the same level as them- people who have some interest in spirituality, in self-help. Some find these workshops because they have had a true calling to become a shaman, and these workshops and authors allow them to wade softly into the waters of spirit without being shoved underneath. Some go to workshops to find community- although shamanism is a part of the mainstream new-age canon these days, it is still refreshing to find whole groups of others who you can talk about spirituality in community (and this sentiment of finding spiritual community/a "tribe" is actually pretty funny when you know about how true shamans operate in a community, but I digress). As a white middle-class suburbanite I can totally empathize. These classes are what show up when you have a spiritual calling and are googling at 2:00 am. But as I go on to Part 2, you may realize that what a shaman is, or does, is actually extremely difficult. It is not a job or path that anyone in their right mind would actually wish for. I truly do believe that if others on the shamanism-lite path realized what a calling was like, they would run screaming in the other direction.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Tri-Brain Meditation: Getting Past Fear and Through Difficult Emotions

When we think of general divisions of the body, the first the comes up is of mind/body. This is a classic Cartesian split, and the thrust of Modern Allopathic Medicine. That something can either be divided into a mechanistic, parts-oriented "body" division, and is thus treated by Allopathic/Western Medicine and pharmaceuticals, or is considered the realm of the "mind", meaning non-physical, emotionally based, and is treated by modern forms of psychotherapy and psychiatry.
In terms of Eastern/Asiatic Medicines, this split is often described as mind/body/spirit, but the idea of this is to introduce the idea that these concepts interweave and inform one another. This means that you are not just a mechanistic piece of machinery or a mind, you are both, and are a spirit as well, all informing and influencing one another.
In terms of Energy Medicine and Spiritual/Shamanic Healing, the consideration is of the whole, meaning that there is no split. Although there are divisions of the body (like chakras, or levels of the energy body like the etheric, or even the energies within the body like the energetic matrix that at the basest level comprises who we are) we are considered one unit- these energies do not just inform and interweave one another, they are one another, and are reflected in one another. Your physical state is simply a representation of what is going on emotionally, spiritually, energetically.

In terms of development of the human brain, the tribrain system is often the base model. There is a split between the reptilian brain, the limbic brain, and the neocortex. The reptilian brain is that of the dinosaurs, formed first, and responsible for things of a simple, physical nature, such as brute strength, movement, and respiration. The reptilian brain is not a thinking brain, it is what makes up our very basic instincts of survival- our drive to get through a situation no matter what. It makes up the base instinctual part of ourselves, a simple brain that reacts and acts on instinct.

The limbic brain is made up of our higher instincts, and our emotions. The limbic brain drives our behaviors out of feelings- primarily those of fear. This is also the space of our selves that reacts to the hierarchy of needs- fears of being properly taken care of, fed, sexual drives, and basic social skills and ability to gather in groups for a common purpose, as well as wars, arguments, and seeing people different from us as "other" and something to be labeled and feared. This is the caveman brain, and is not capable of higher thought, but of reacting to emotions, mainly fear.

The neocortex is the last of the tribrain model. It is the higher brain, responsible for higher levels of intelligence, insight, and thought patterns. Mathematics, spatial reasoning, foresight, philosophy, technology, language, writing, music, art, architecture- most things you can think, study in school (arguably), or see in modern society are from the development of this region of the brain.

So why am I introducing this concept (or re-introducing?)
Although we consider ourselves to be high-minded, intelligent creatures, the reptilian brain, limbic brain, and the neocortex all react differently and are triggered by different areas in our lives. For example, by understanding that the limbic brain largely comes from a place of fear, a place of war and pointing out of differences, we can understand how when that emotion comes up (fear, anxiety, really any emotion), we can understand why we feel the need to put others down, argue, or even fight.

Limbic Brain Meditation
Let us look at a fear you have. It can be of anything, small or large. Something as simple as a fear of not getting work done on time by the deadline this week to something as complex and loaded as the fear of death and dying.
• Consider the situation you are thinking of in terms of fear
• Feel that fear in your body, how does it affect you physically? What areas of your body does it affect?
• What other emotions come up with that fear? Grief, sadness, anger?
• What does this fear make you want to do? Hide, fight, eat?
• Connect this fear to the drive you discovered. Say this out loud:
example: my fear over losing my parent makes me feel grief, tightness in my chest, nausea, makes me want to hide in my room and never come out, and eat sugar.
• Sit with this understanding for a moment. Let your body understand what you just said out loud.

Do this Meditation every time you feel a strong emotion come up. The limbic brain is a gateway, meaning that it has access to both the reptilian as well as the neocortex. By coming up with an emotion (limbic), understanding your primal drives and decisions derived from that emotion (limbic and reptilian) as well as speaking it out loud and coming to an intellectual understanding/creating a story about this emotion (neocortex), you are linking aspects of this system, and gradually will be able to change how you react to situations.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

What Causes a Kundalini Awakening, Crisis, or Kundalini Syndrome?

In my previous blog, I discussed many of the common symptoms of a Kundalini Awakening. You can read that here. The question for many once they have discovered that they are undergoing a Kundalini Awakening is how it happened, why it happened, and why them.
Why a Kundalini Awakening Occurs
There are several reasons why a Kundalini Awakening occurs:

You were meant to have one: Due to divine reasoning, in this lifetime you simply were meant to undergo a Kundalini Awakening. There are many thoughts on this- but to keep it simple the reasoning is often clear- your soul was ready to be Awake, and to undergo a Kundalini Awakening, and for it to happen in this lifetime. This is the reason all Kundalini Awakenings occur, but you can view the common sub-reasons below.

Yoga, Reiki, Meditation, Tantra and other Spiritual Activities: Sometimes a Reiki attunement, yoga, meditating, receiving shaktipat, or other spiritual activities will start a Kundalini Awakening. There are specific Reiki systems and meditations that are intended to start the process of Kundalini rising. Often, what needs to be realized about this is that the system, meditation, attunement, etc. is not to be blamed, you actually were lead to it because you were meant to have one (see reason number 1).

• Spontaneous Awakening: For more and more people, a Kundalini awakening will seemingly come out of nowhere. This can obviously be disorienting and concerning for people, especially for people who have had no interest in spirituality, or suddenly start experiencing symptoms. Often these people go from Western doctor to doctor, therapist, and can be hospitalized and are often put on drugs and diagnosed with anything from Psychosis, Depression, Agoraphobia, IBS, Parkinson's, MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and a variety of other Central Nervous System and Emotional Imbalances. Everyone who has these issues is not having a Kundalini Awakening, though (just to clarify).

You are not actually having one: Yeah, I will say it. Most people who think they are undergoing a Kundalini awakening are not actually undergoing one. They have had a peak experience (an experience in which you have feelings of oneness and greater spiritual understanding) such as a Reiki attunement, shaktipat, or practicing meditation or participating in Tantra or other activities has gotten you in touch with the Kundalini fire in your body temporarily. Simply feeling the flow of Kundalini in your body is not Kundalini Syndrome/Crisis… It is often a temporary thing. A real Kundalini Awakening is permanent (it does have ebbs and flows, though) and is a life changing event.

Difference between Kundalini Awakening and Kundalini Syndrome/Crisis
The difference between the two is minimal in some ways, and huge in others. The basic difference is functionality. A Kundalini Awakening when you are already very awake, aware, and spiritual is very different than the freight train of symptoms that occur with a Kundalini crisis. A Kundalini Awakening allows for the flow of your central channel/spine to fully be active. This awakening frees all the stagnant energies in your physical body, emotions, and other bodies, including the chakras. It puts you directly in the path of divine flow, and the divine dance of unfolding.
Simply put, if you have already worked through all (or most) of your emotional, physical, and spiritual issues from this lifetime as well as any other lifetimes a Kundalini Awakening will be a big shift, but one that you are more able to handle. But if you are stuck emotionally, physically, spiritually, and have a lot of baggage from this lifetime as well as other issues (past life, ancestral, other energetic and spiritual happenings) going on, a Kundalini Awakening is likely to hit you like a freight train, and all of the issues in your body are going to appear at the same time to be processed. 

Imagine if every single issue- physical, emotional, spiritual, came up to be healed at the same time. That is what happens with a Kundalini Awakening. Often, in a Kundalini Crisis/Syndrome there is resistance to the process and a lot of fear- which is understandable, especially if you have no idea what the hell is going on. This makes it so much worse, and will worsen any symptoms that you have. Also making this worse is that many who claim to understand Kundalini and have undergone the process may not know what they are talking about, and that there are limited, real resources for modern Kundalini awakenings and true crisis, especially resources that know what they are talking about, or do not feed in to your fears about the process.

Next posting will be: Now What? How to Deal once you realize you have a Kundalini Awakening or Kundalini Crisis/Syndrome going on... Questions? Contact me at www.lotusbodywork.com

What is a Kundalini Awakening or Kundalini Syndrome?

A Kundalini Awakening in simple terms it is the awakening of dormant spiritual energy in the base of the spine (between the coccyx/tailbone and the anus if you want to get technical about it). This energy works it way up the spine to the top of the head, eventually making a circuit of energy through the midline of your body.

Just to clarify- there are actually a lot of different types of Spiritual Awakenings. Kundalini is perhaps the most infamous, and the modern day New Age community has appropriated the term Kundalini awakening for any type of spiritual awakening or spiritual growth. Classically, this is not true.
There are discrete symptoms that a Kundalini awakening has that are completely different than the different types of awakenings (Shamanic, Psychic, Pranic, Top Down Awakening, for example) and must be worked with differently due to the typically intense and life-changing symptoms.
So what are the symptoms of Kundalini awakening?
Intense heat- typically starting at the base of the spine, but can occur throughout the spinal cord or throughout the body. Some people actually feel intense heat and cold
Kriyas and Mudras spontaneously occurring- body twitches and movements- spontaneous finger, hand gestures and yogic body postures
Awareness of Energy Flows through the body- sudden realizations and knowledge about acupuncture channels, chakras, and how energy flows through the body, feeling of energy circulating the spine
Disassociation and Feeling Separate From Oneself- typically a trauma response. Feelings that there is so much going on in the body that you are unable to mentally or physically comprehend so you disconnect from the physical body
Near Death Experiences, Extreme Physical Symptoms-  A near death experience can be a reason why Kundalini begins to rise, but it can also be caused by Kundalini rising as well. Typically these physical symptoms are not explainable by Western Medicine (although I encourage you to see a physician). I will explain what to do if you are having Kundalini issues in another blog post in the near future.
Huge Spiritual Shifts within a short period of time- increase in psychic abilities, or developing psychic abilities that you did not have before. Understanding the spiritual nature of things. Seeing grids, patterns, snakes, huge shifts in your own spiritual understandings.
Extreme Personality Changes and Mental Imbalances- it is fairly common for people undergoing a Kundalini awakening to get divorces, separate from family and friends, move, feel waves of depression as well as bliss, and in general feel a lot of fear about what is going on with them. A total personality and life change often occurs. Who you were and who you are now are totally different, which causes a lot of confusion, grief, fear in yourself and family/friends.
Waves of Bliss, Spontaneous Orgasms, Feelings of Oneness- a Kundalini awakening allows for you to feel divine flows of energy as well as see through the illusion of separateness.
Headaches and Migraines
• Intense Back and Spine pain
• Extreme Energy Fluctuations-
feeling extremely energized, almost manic with insomniac tendencies to chronic fatigue issues with extreme body heaviness and depression
Slowing and Speeding of Heart Rate
Digestive Issues & Vomiting- issues with nausea, limited ability to eat foods (except for bland, simple foods), bloating, diarrhea or constipation.
Hormonal Imbalances
• Inability to Function
• Addictions
Individual Chakra Related Dysfunctions- this occurs as kundalini fire begins to rise and the individual chakras begin to open. For example, it is not unusual for someone with a Kundalini Awakening in their first chakra (until it has opened the chakra) to experience a sensation of constant fire around the genitals and anus, sexual arousal, tailbone and low back pain, heat going into the legs, UTI's, visions of ancestral, safety, and fear (first chakra emotional issues), digestive dysfunction, etc.

As you can see, this is a huge list. It is not uncommon for those undergoing a Kundalini Awakening to have all the symptoms listed, but for it to be truly a Kundalini Awakening (as opposed to something else), diagnostic criteria would include: intense feelings of fire and heat (or rarely cold), huge energy shifts, extreme personality changes, inability to function for a period of time, waves of bliss, spontaneous body, hand, and finger movements, and huge leaps in spiritual understandings. I cannot decide for someone if they are undergoing a Kundalini Awakening, and if you are having extreme physical symptoms, check in with a doctor.

Next, I will discuss what causes a Kundalini Awakening, and the best treatment strategies for it. If you would like to contact me about this blog or for a session, you can do that at www.lotusbodywork.com
Eventually I hope to have resources for health professionals about how to work with patients who are experiencing Kundalini syndrome and other Spiritual Awakenings so that people can get proper assistance for this often misdiagnosed and misunderstood shift, but until then I offer private sessions via phone, Skype, or email.
Thanks for reading!

Geomagnetic Storm Meditation: Raising Your Frequency through Meditation

In case anyone is feeling out of sorts: there is a geomagnetic storm going on right now (for the next 15 hours or so)… which in very simple terms causes solar winds to increase the pressure within the Earth's magnetic fields. If you are out of balance, or are still working within the confines of cosmic consciousness, you will feel headaches, fatigue, lack of concentration, and basically feelings of heaviness and not wanting to do much.

If you are able to work with this, or want to learn how to absorb this energy for your own use, it is a great time to ground yourself, use this extra magnetized energy to build up your aura and subtler energy bodies, which will allow for you to be a bigger "force" in this world, build up your aura, as well as can be used as a manifestation tool.

Working with the Geomagnetic Storm: Note of caution, do not do this if you are not feeling balanced. It actually creates a pretty big leap forward in consciousness if you do it right (friendly warning) and is considered a medium to advanced meditation (as in, don't do this if it is your first time trying to meditate).

The Meditation:
• Sit in a favorite meditation pose, ideally outside or at the very least with your feet touching the ground or earth.
• Allow yourself to briefly check in with your physical body, your energy bodies, until you can sense the outer edges of your aura which basically forms a "bubble" surrounding you
• Now bring your focus to the Earth as a whole- get a sense of the windy, magnetic energy that surrounds and penetrates the earth right now
• Again bring your focus back to your energy bodies
• Allow for the magnetic energy of the Earth energy to slowly merge into the outer edge of your aura on all sides, filling up the "bubble" of your aura evenly. You should feel this as a buzzing, heavy energy, or may see it as a light
• Allow for this energy to slowly expand and fill your aura.
• If you are ready, it will create a new "ring" or band in your energetic field, allowing for you to connect with earth energies and solar energies on a deeper, more intimate level.

Advanced Meditation
If you are able to feel/visualize the band/ring, you may choose to continue
Aura/Field Building: Consolidation of The Ring
• Allow for the ring to fully consolidate around you
• Look to see if there are any broken lines or unevenness to the ring. If there is, allow for your focus to go to the space you notice that is fractured, broken, or uneven and allow for the vibration to build it up
• Allow for your focus to go back to the ring until you can sense or see the ring even, bright, and full completely surrounding you.
• Move the ring slowly in and out, closer to your body and further into your body (between one inch and 12 inches away from your body). Feel or see where it is most comfortable.
• Allow for the ring to permanently settle in to your field where it feels comfortable.
• Meditate on the ring, feeling the vibration, getting to know it. Ask the ring how it can remain permanently with you, what gifts it has for you, and how you can utilize it.

Manifestation Using The Ring
• Connect with the buzzing/frequency of the band that is now a part of your field.
• Visualize or speak out loud what you would like to manifest. Make it simple to begin with.
• Realize that with manifesting it is a co-creation: you and the Universe. Meaning that you may get what you ask for, but it is likely not going to be exactly how you may wish for it to occur.
• Feel, visualize/allow for the frequency to carry that message like waves coming off of you into the earth and all directions (basically visualize or feel the expansion of the ring that is now a part of your aura until you feel it reach its target).
• Once you feel that it has reached its target, the sensation of the ring surrounding you will build back up again and you will have an inner sense of knowing.

All material copyright 2013 M. Shutan. Visit www.lotusbodywork.com for more information about me, my practice, or to contact me.